135.8

Up from 134.4 this morning...well, I did indulge in Whataburger.

I fucking LOVE that Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich.

Ate only that, drank my weight in Diet Coke and then water, so maybe just water weight.
Likely.

Tomorrow is B's birthday...I want cake.

I admit it: I like eating.

Nothing but that, though...and yearbooks come out...wonder if Midas showed up...

Whataburger

Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich
-two 5 inch buns
-3 crunchy chicken strips
-2 slices Monterey jack
-slathered with honey bbq sauce
...
-1100 calories
-59 grams of fat

I Don't even fucking care. i won't eat all week just for that-it's a seasonal item, only comes out for around 6 weeks. do you know how many months i've glanced at whataburger waiting for that freakin' banner to proclaim that it's back??

...i'm gonna hate myself. i'm gonna love it.

137.6

Massive quantities of food this week.

Yesterday my class went to the beach to do some volunteer work-I found a 1.5 inch crab claw. I also ended up scraping the backs of my knees and fucking up my neck, because I wanted to sit down after 2 hours of wandering the beach staring down looking for litter.

Not wanting to sit on the sand in my shorts (!!!) I tried to boost myself up and sit on a wooden handrail to a walkway.

I ended up falling backwards, and shooting splinters up my legs.

I ate...
-3 pieces of toast 2/ honey at home in the am
-a simply caramel milky way bar on the way to school
-a taco maxie brought, bacon egg and cheese
-a baby ruth bar as i got on the bus
-some cheetos maxie had on the bus
-a diet pepsi bottle
-1 1/2 chocolate chip cookies vivian brought on the way to the nature center
-some more cheetos
-a fucking hunger buster hamburger from a fast food restaurant (i...took the tomato, pickles, and onions out and filled it with french fries...)
-my serving of french fries
-a diet coke
-20 packets of ketchup
-half of kim's fries
-a tootsie roll pop on the way home
-4 more tootsie roll pops at home

.........well, i need help. i'm the girl who eats either far too much or not nearly enough. but how to be normal?...
:(

Scared

Of the massive quantities of food I've been consuming.

I'm smart enough not to start purging, partly because I've been deathly afraid of something like my esophagus rupturing.

Now I'm afraid of the other way, eating so much and how it affects your fucking intestines.

It was so perfect yesterday...now I'm afraid I can't be normal.