147!!

I like that number. It's my favorite big one--11 is my normal lucky one.

Of course, just because I'm going down doesn't mean I'm happy with my weight.

Watching that little red line tip day after day in the RIGHT direction is a bit of a pick-me-up, but what I see in the mirror, feel in my clothes, is so much worse.

I don't know when I'll be happy. I don't think I ever will be, to be honest.

I've lost a pound a day since Monday...I woke up weighing 150.

This morning, 147, and when I exercise tonite some more it'll be under that, so...by morning hopefully 146 > x ?

Truth be told...haven't lost it by fasting.

I've eaten between 1000 and 1500 cals every day, and yet I've lost. Unsure if it's just water weight or what...but I need to fast tomorrow :( This week has just been too tramautizing.

Well, Monday was rather spectacular...but everyday this week I started looking forward to its end before 9 in the am.

Tomorrow I want to fast. I need to. It's so easy, at school...nobody watches, nobody cares. It's perfectly normal to sit around talking instead of EATINGCONSUMINGFEASTING.

I haven't been picking or pulling as much--or, at least, it's in intervals.

For a few days, I hardly touched my hair at all, except for nasty monday when I didn't have enough time to properly wash it and it was a slick greaseball all day. Ick.

Sometimes I catch myself playing with split ends...but no yanking in sight.

Those are my main goals, after all:
-Stop picking
-Stop pulling
-Stop indulging (food, etc.)
-Stop being so NERVOUS

All of those things are a result of my little anxieties, anyhow. If I can control them...maybe I can control other important things.

I hate setting goals for myself, though...it only depresses me if I don't reach them fast enough, and then I break them, and then I'm only more discouraged.

So no goals, K? Just...try your best, and I hope I can do it.
I know I can.
I think. :P

OH and I absolutely ADORE Delays! "Lost In A Melody"...mmm...top 3 favorite band!