Don't care if I've become one of those annoying people who post a million posts in one day. Well, I went a few weeks without even getting near Blogger, so...make-ups?
I'm coming back, Anabel. It all seems so easy now. For months, I've been eating mindlessly constantly or trying to be okay with eating for pleasure, trying to make deals and promises with myself. Sometimes losing weight, sometimes crazy gaining.
My last crazy phase was last summer, when I lost close to 15 pounds in the course of a couple weeks. (more?...hellifiknow, I didn't record anything)
I knew I was fat-I never once let myself feel good about myself, because it wasn't correct. Wasn't true.
But at the same time, I couldn't see myself as *too* too hideous-I'd freak and want to find comfort in food. I had to be "ok"...but willing to make improvements.
That's how I feel now-I try hard not to look in the mirror, because that's the only way I can not fill myself up mindlessly or go back to forgetting myself and time.
No more will I look to the mirror for reassurance, asking myself "Just a little...?"
No reminders- just work.
After this, I'm just going to do the damn homework. It's not that hard, just slightly time-consuming. Just...forget food, worries, self...be okay :)
(WE'LL SEE HOW LONG *THAT* LASTS...)
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