143.4

Well I've reached another new record low.

Yippee hooray.

Fasted yesterday...ah depression. Woke up 143.4.

That was in the morning-I weighed 143.6 last time I checked. But that's because I ate an apple and banana, and drank tons of water...and of course that piece of red velvet cake...that I so quickly purged...so when I exercise tonight, I won't get nausea from dehydration. At least I've learned my lesson.

There's been so much going on...I feel like the only thing I can do-other than hurt myself or lose my sanity-is to just lose weight. Then I won't feel so useless.

Midas may be regaining interest. I'm not sure-but he walks by more often, he seems to seek me out. I don't know what to do with this information.

...I've figured it out. I am so...angry. And I don't know what to do with my anger. But I know that it's hell to feel guilty about food and weight and inadequacy along with this helpless anger. Well, I don't have to be helpless...




I don't know. There's just something about Florence that inspires me.